The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Poker Face

The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way back from the shore this week to play a little poker and kick one little Jersey girl out of the her luxurious nest.

We break down all the drama in our patented THG +/- recap below!

Say bye bye. That was Jacqueline's response as Ashlee whined about packing to leave for Vegas. Plus 10 because it was so pathetic it was funny.

They sent her off with Albie to avoid a family meltdown at the airport hoping that she'd get on the plane without incident. It sounds good…in theory.

Minus 7 because Albie couldn't be bothered to park the car and walk his wayward cousin to the security checkpoint. Instead he drops her at the curb and there's no doubt she'll be home by dark.

Sure enough, Albie gets the call as he's driving home. Somehow Ashlee missed her flight. Minus 12. This girl is pathetic. I know it's because she doesn't want to go but it is sad when a 20-year-old can't check herself in at an airport. 

Chris is right, his step-daughter has no common sense. Her answer to stress is wishing she could buy herself a drink. Ashlee may be headed down a hard road all of her own making. 

This time Chris drives her to the airport to make sure it's done right. Plus 10. At home Jacqueline looks at pictures of her little girl and cries. I understand she's upset but it's not like some awful tragedy has befallen her daughter. Ashlee's a spoiled brat and when people stop handing her stuff maybe she'll grow up.

Apparently Ashlee isn't the only Jersey girl having issues. Lauren's cosmetic business is a bust. She says she wasn't getting the respect she deserved so she packed up her kiosk at Chateau and walked away…the day after her grand opening party! Minus 15. Seriously, don't you have to at least put some actual work into the business to earn respect?

The diet she's going on looks ridiculous. Minus 5. Although I have no doubt if she sticks to it she'll lose weight, I'll also bet she'll gain it right back once she starts eating real food again. 

Speaking of failed businesses, Joe Guidice's pizzeria has a closed sign on the door. Well, that didn't last long. Now he's planning to buy the gas station across the street and turn the property into an over 55 residence. When Teresa asks if the gas station owner knows he'll be evicted, Joe says no but it's no big deal. Minus 15! I think it will be a big deal for the owner.

Across town, Kathy and Rich's son is e-mailed a topless picture of a girl. Plus 8 for Kathy's response. I thought she handled it well. Minus 10 to Rich. There are times when his jokes are just a little too sleazy.

Finally the whole gang gets together and Teresa takes the moment to once again apologize for her book…or sort of apologize. It never really comes across that she's sorry for anything. Minus 7 Teresa can't seem to let it go and then she's begging people to read the book because once they do they'll really get into it. Um…it's a cookbook, right? How into it can you be?

The boys head into the next room to play a little poker and most of the fun occurs off camera. Rich and Joe Guidice end up having a wrestling match over something vital like who's the taller Joe. Then Guidice makes a grab at Rich below the belt and later jokes that there was nothing to grab. 

Uh, is that normally where guys grab one another during a fight?  Well, maybe short guys. Minus 13.

In the end Joe ends up with a candlestick holder in the eye. Yeah, I don't get it either.

But Joe's stuck at home now playing Mr. Mom while Teresa's doing her book signings. As usual the kids are little terrors but at least Milania only called Gia a hooker this week. Plus 8. That's a step up from calling her sister a stupid whore.

Finally. Melissa tries to have a romantic dinner but Joe can't stop thinking about babies and sex. Then Melissa tells him she recorded a love ballad for him. It's actually not bad. Joe says the song turns him on. No kidding. What doesn't turn him on?

So who thinks we'll see Ashlee back again before the end of the season? Who thinks we'll see her back next week? Something tells me that Jersey girl will be back before we know it.

EPISODE TOTAL: -48! SEASON TOTAL: -111!   

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Microsoft invests $300 million in new Barnes & Noble 'strategic partnership'

Well, that's an interesting end to all those legal tussles. Microsoft and bookseller Barnes and Noble have decided to buddy-up in the face of competitors like Amazon and Apple. The strategic partnership -- Microsoft loves 'em -- would come in the form of a new Barnes and Noble subsidiary that deals with all things Nook, in addition to its education business. The bookseller would hold onto the lion's share at 82.4 percent, with the remaining 17.6 percent in Microsoft's control. The first benefit posited would be a Nook app for the incoming Windows 8. Barnes and Noble's Nook Study software would also benefit from a friendly boost on all that Windows hardware. Maybe all those other legal matches will resolve in similar warm-and-fuzzy business hook-ups -- but we doubt it.

Continue reading Microsoft invests $300 million in new Barnes & Noble 'strategic partnership'

Microsoft invests $300 million in new Barnes & Noble 'strategic partnership' originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:21:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Romney: U.S. Must Support Chen (TIME)

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Portable Battery-Powered X-ray Machine Guarantees You'll Always Find the Best Kinder Surprise Toys [Video]

Developed by a Japanese company called Mikasa for emergency medical use in the field, particularly when there's no power after a disaster, the TRB9020H portable x-ray machine weighs just 15 pounds and can take up to 300 images on a single charge. More »

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WWDC 2012, Avengers, and other awesome Retina wallpapers for your iPad and iPhone

Our iPhone Retina wallpaper forum and iPad Retina wallpaper forum just keep on filling up with great stuff. No matter what you're looking for, be it Apple's WWDC 2012 logo, the upcoming Avengers movie and Prometheus movie posters, something from Star Wars, even Hollywood hotness, you'll find it and plenty more. And if you've got something special, just start a thread and share away! (If there's a wallpaper you want for iPhone -- or any phone or tablet -- and you can only find it for iPad, don't worry -- your iPhone can scale it down and crop it perfectly to fit any of your devices!) We're going to be adding more and more every day, so bookmark the iMore Forums and check back often!

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Predictably named iPavement puts hotspots into the sidewalk

We know what it's like to be in a foreign country without a mobile internet connection. Although there are domestic options making it easier to connect our devices abroad, Spanish company iPavement wants to help confused tourists (and their confused devices) by seamlessly integrating hotspots into tiles -- which are seamlessly integrated into the ground. It's unclear whether users will have open access to the entire world wide web, or only controlled info about the city, but the service is at least free to use. The 24kg (53lb) tiles are slightly larger than normal, installed a maximum of 20 meters (66 feet) from one another and only work at temperatures between 10 - 45 degrees Celsius (14 - 113 degrees Fahrenheit). Touristy cloud apps like maps, coupons, and traffic updates in various languages are also a part of the deal, and you would look like less of a tourist without that huge guide to Madrid. Just lose the fanny pack and you'll be set.

Predictably named iPavement puts hotspots into the sidewalk originally appeared on Engadget on Sat, 28 Apr 2012 13:48:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Wolfram Alpha releases first desktop PC app for Windows 7, makes homework even easier

Have a habit of letting Wolfram Alpha do your math for you? Well, say hello to one more tool in your computational arsenal -- the electronic homework lackey self-described knowledge engine is now available as a Windows 7 desktop app for $2.99 at the Intel AppUp store. In addition to providing desktop analytics on the works of the Bard, the Wolfram Alpha app features extended copy / paste support for graphics and queries, a full-screen optimized user interface and a special software keyboard with native support for special characters. If that isn't enough, the company also plans to drop even more knowledge at the AppUp center later this year in the form of "course assistant apps" for such geeky subjects as astronomy, physics and chemistry. Still got queries about the desktop app? Then satiate that thirst for information by imbibing in the PR after the break.

Continue reading Wolfram Alpha releases first desktop PC app for Windows 7, makes homework even easier

Wolfram Alpha releases first desktop PC app for Windows 7, makes homework even easier originally appeared on Engadget on Fri, 27 Apr 2012 07:12:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Sony Xperia ST21i with ICS leaks out, shows off its chunky physique

It may not be as sleek as its S kin, or even as powerful as that mid-level U, but this recently leaked Xperia ST21i might just have enough goodies to lure a handful of you in. According to Techblog, this thick, 3.2-inch unit packs some pretty run-of-the-mill features, including an 800MHz Qualcomm chip paired with 512MB of RAM, a 3-megapixel shooter to help with those Instagram shots and a bland 640 x 480 screen res. Unlike a few of the other Xperias still waiting to be served, though, the ST21i has already been filled with a portion of Google's famous ICS. No word yet on when the pudgy device will see a legit introduction, but until then you can peek at some extra photos at the source link below.

Sony Xperia ST21i with ICS leaks out, shows off its chunky physique originally appeared on Engadget on Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:29:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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